Hugs

Hugs from your kids are the best kind! They bond you! They energize you! They cement your relationship!

2 weeks of feeling like I am doing a disseratation again! I have dropped my real world office and started to put my Cyber office together so I can see people live, face to face, online for much less than anywhere else and from home, anywhere in the English speaking world. While it is one of the coolest professional things I have ever done and very Star Trek like, I miss my kids! They are here, but I am joined with my computer for a bit! I make it a requirement of working, to make sure I get to hug my 3 sweeties several times an hour and as often as possible. What a great feeling to get that wonderful hug and bonding moment. Ok it's not as much as usual right now, but things will go back to normal soon, once things are up and running! The hugs keep me going!

I have had lots of people come in to my office over the years asking me for help with their child's behavior. "It's out of control" they tell me. "The child runs our house" they tell me. From what they are describing, they are right. It is out of control and the worst part about it is the child feels worse than anyone else. Where the parents are wrong is in what they think they want to learn from me. They ask me for ways to punish the behavior. I tell them that while good boundaries are necessary, there is much more to it. I have talked to parents on a daily basis about the serious need for a good foundation relationship between them and their child to get good behavior and cooperation. There needs to be a bond there-a strong one. A lot of people will tell me how hard it is when their child is acting possessed and like a nasty brat, to show love or to bond. I surprise them by saying that when they are the most unlovable, that is when they need the most love. Now, don't get me wrong. I am known, with my clients, as someone who gets immediate behavior change and they have called me the "queen of creative consequences"! I am not for a second saying that there should be no discipline or that you should allow your kids to be obnoxious. People find it amazing when I tell them that love, bonding and good boundaries should co-exist in every home. If you have all 3 of those at the same time, you have the best of all worlds to get good cooperation and behavior. Where the problems come in is when bad behavior is ignored in the name of love or when there is no basic love and all limits. . When I say love, I mean massive in love! Your kids need to see that they are the greatest part of your life reflected in your eyes at them.

The great news is that even for parents who feel like for whatever reason they missed out on that initial bonding and it is hurting their relationship with their child, it's not too late. I teach parents every day how to do the things that will bond them with their kids. It is my favorite part of what I do!

The basis of your child's self esteem comes from you so make sure you grow it daily!

My website