Ok, yes, we've heard it. We've all heard lots about how our kids need to be able to compete and do things better and earlier and faster than people in other countries. This has created years of us pressuring our kids to supposedly keep the edge in front of others. I think we've done exactly the opposite. I have spent 24 years watching kids and families come into my office with pain in their eyes. With pressured fear that their child just isn't making the grade. Isn't doing what the rules say. Isn't marching to the drum beat. Isn't being a good "rat" in the rat race. Many people think I am strange because I think the secret to true wellness for all of us is different than many others do. I think our strength lies in those we love. Our families.
Knowing the cringing that feminists will do when I say this next thing, I will plunge forward anyway......Did you know that all told, we have better than 40 different kinds of taxes in our country. Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago..... And our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt...We had the largest middle class in the world..... And Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
I wasn't here 100 years ago and you probably weren't either, but I was 30 years ago and what I remember is mom being with us and not just for "quality time". I also remember no ADHD, no lines at school to get the afternoon pill, no horrific kid on kid beat downs and no news stories about teens shooting up schools. I think the 2 are related. Now I am not suggesting that women get out of the workforce. I just think if we didn't have 43 different taxes, we might be able to either have 1 parent working homes again or less hours to work and more to spend on being with family. The family is the core of our society and it is being degraded.
I look at my children every day and just get amazed over and over again. I think to myself about the rat race and what do I want for them? Do I want them to be able to compete? Sure I do. Do I want them to be smart? Sure I do. But the most important thing I want for them is for them to know that they have family surrounding them. That they feel whole because they know their parents cherish them and love them more than anything. That no homework problem or passing behavior problem is going to shake the foundation of our relationship together. Now, I'm not saying that kids should not have limits. It's what I teach daily at my office. Of course they should. I just think that we need to build their skills the best for them and then drop the rat race!
Being a good, whole, caring human being, is what is important. Not being the best machine you can be. I think this is why I get the results I do in my practice. I don't just teach attention change, behavior change and processing skill building. I teach families how to reconnect at the most basic level. To cherish each other again.
My kids, my family are my greatest gifts! Nothing else comes close.
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